Ever know what you're doing is right but it just doesn't feel right?

I'm kinda right there, right now. I know that if I'm going to make more money and use my new reading specialist certification and master's degree I will probably have to change school districts. Problem is, I'm not totally sure I want to move, but there isn't the "perfect" job there for me. Don't get me wrong, I work my butt of and do make a fairly good (for a teacher) dime. I am finding that as each year passes the amount of problems that arise with the kids keep getting more and more difficult. For example I have one student who doesn't do homework, lost a library book, had a younger sibling rip pages out of his science book, and now has to work off the money owed to the school because mom avoids meeting with us at all costs. She doesn't return phone calls, she doesn't come to conferences, she won't return notes, nothing. So her son will have to work with the custodians for 2 months to work off the debt.

Now things like that tell me I can't stress over it and maybe should move. The commute of 45 minutes to an hour every day is tedious. I have to leave about 1.5 hours early on a snowy day. The lack of substitutes in our district often makes us internal sub and lose planning periods. I'm unsure about other things too.

Now I know this is where God put me for a reason, and that he's had me get my master's degree in reading for a reason. Now I just need him to tell me what the next plans are. I know, not an easy request; sometimes it's even harder to hear the answer.

Well I know that this is probably the time to move districts and change jobs primarily because if I stay too much longer with my education and years of experience that I won't get credit for my experience and I'll be too expensive to hire. So I've been revamping my resume and I've been starting to fill out the online applications. I'll tell you, most of these are 13 pages long! That's including the pages of questions. Each of the two applications I've been working on have 10, yes 10 essay questions. Luckily you can start the application and return to it. You can also cut and paste your responses from word to the application. Well, that is where I am. I've been trying to come up with the strongest, yet concise answers that showcase the best of me. Not easy I'll tell ya.

This is just one of those things I hate doing. I'm usually a really loyal employee. I do what ever I can to make it the best place to work. I'm a team player and there are people I love working with. The atmosphere where I work is sometimes like a roller coaster though. We are under the microscope from the state and that's hard because we keep jumping from here, there, to someplace else to find what is best for the students. But that leads to doing so much "extra" stuff that there's hardly time to teach what we need to teach.

I guess I just need someone to tell me, Laura you're doing what you need to do, or Laura this is the time. I need to listen to God because he's got the plan, but I don't hear what he's saying. I know he's probably doing some talking through others and I'm trying to listen but the words are clear. What do you do when you're trying to listen but can't tell what is being said?

I'm just feeling a bit overwhelmed I think because there is so much to do and when looking for teaching jobs it is quite often like jumping through hoops. That is what I call it and it almost perfectally describes what happens. You have to do this, then do that, then do this again, then do more of that. We need this and that and then even more.

If you are my messagener please shout it loud and clear as to what I'm supposed to be doing! God you know my hearing is going so please make my sign loud and clear.

If anyone has any suggestions or words of wisdom, please let me know.